Maria.

I just met a caf lady named Maria, and suddenly that name will never be the same again. Maria was my first come down for the Anders high. The Fairview Hopsital caf closes between 10:15 and 10:45 am. I did not know this on Sunday. Some dude let me in the "Starbucks" door to get some coffee anyway. He alluded to this fact, but it sounded so preposterous that I politely ignored him.
I got my coffee and looked around to pay, suddenly this tiny gray haired Latina materialized in mid-scold.
"What are you doing here? How did you get in here? We are closed! YOU cannot be here!"
First of all, the idea that this place needs a half hour break for culinary regeneration is preposterous. The food is all just similarly bad.
I told Maria that some guy let me in the middle door. Then she got mad at him in absentia as I pleaded ignorance.
On Monday, I returned for breakfast. Maria charged my order to the woman in front of her, who couldn't believe that 2 juices cost $8. Maria was having cash register trouble, so eventually she brokered an exact change cash transfer. I gave exact change to Maria and she gave it to the overcharged lady. This took about 10 minutes to figure out.