Anders Goes to Church

Today, Anders went to church for the first time. Among other things, this allowed Anna and me practice what we have preached as it relates to the church behavior of parents and children. Parents tend to be such touchy-feely wet noodles that allow their kids to run amok. Anna and I had far different experiences and owing to this fact, so will Anders.
He remained in his car seat until the sermon, except for a giant burp, which came out of no where. The guest speaker was talking about Earth justice, a topic not disposed to lighting a fire under a fifty year old let alone a five month old. We sat right next to the door (we'd been planning such tactics for years), and I took him out and walked him around until he fell asleep. Well, the rambling discussion of Earth justice rolled on, so I didn't miss much. Anders reminded me of my step-dad who also used to fall asleep during the sermon every week that he went to church. His head went back, his mouth opened, and at least twice he would jolt himself awake. As I got older, I too learned to sleep in church, but I went with hunched over, head forward technique. It's less conspicuous.
Anders slept through his first communion blessing. Anders will not toddle up to the communion rail at aged 3 for a "snack." He must wait until he can understand what the body and blood of Christ are. Who knows, by the time he's in 5th grade the Lutheran Church might have done away with First Communion.
Anders might have made it through the whole service asleep if not for a kid slamming into my leg and waking up Anders. Anders gave a classic old man "Why Can't You Control Your Children" look as he was knocked awake. I felt bad for the parents trying to play a 2-3 zone (2 parents for 3 kids under the age of 5), but church isn't Vietnam, there are rules.
We almost didn't make it to church. Anna hopped out of the car to straighten the garden hose in the front yard since we had a house showing today. As she did so, a bug crawled in her ear. She pretty much lost it and spazed out all over the front yard. At first, I thought she had turned her ankle. Then I thought that the hose had reared up and hit her. Then I thought she was melting down. Then she hysterically yelled at me what had happened. I asked her if she wanted to go to the emergency room. She did not dignify that question with a response. Athens natives know that a trip to OhBleedUs would have made a bad situation worse. While Anna is naturally concerned that she felt the bug go deeper in her ear, didn't feel it leave her ear, and is convinced that eggs have hatched in her brain, I am going to assume that she is fine until I notice drastic personality changes.
Well, KU lost and Ohio lost, so basketball season is pretty much over for me. I'll root for UNI plus Angry Frank and K-State, but it will not be the same. I will just try to pretend the Royals don't exist and wait for a loaded Iowa football team to start playing next fall. I'm also pretty excited about Brett Favre starring in summer stock Hamlet.
Healthcare passed, which is great news for our precious pre-existing condition sleeping in the next room over. In a decade, Republicans will be defending Obamacare just like they were "defending" Medicare this month, even though the GOP roundly opposed Medicare and Medicaid during the Johnson administration. We have short memories, which can be good and bad. It's hard to sustain a political argument these days when both sides manufacture their own reality on their own cable networks and favorite websites. It was much easier to frame a debate during the days of the powers that be.
Well, this post is turning into a Larry King column and I know Anna will say that I sound like a person Larry King's age when she reads this post.
Peace Be With You.